Stop Blaming Yourself for Not Following Through!

If you've ever spent hours mapping out your week in a cute planner only to abandon it two days later, this article is for you.

I promise, it’s not because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or broken. It’s your nervous system, and once you understand what's actually going on, you can finally stop the self-blame spiral and start following through in a way that feels calm, clear, and aligned.

Let’s go!

You're Stuck in Freeze Mode (aka Embodied Procrastination)

You ever open your laptop, stare at your to-do list, and suddenly feel like your brain turned to mush?

That’s called freeze mode.

When your nervous system feels unsafe, whether it’s because of overwhelm, trauma, or chronic stress, it slams the brakes. You feel disconnected. You scroll. You nap. You “clean the kitchen” instead of prepping that product launch.

And here’s the wild thing: it has nothing to do with motivation! Your executive functioning, the part of your brain responsible for decision-making and follow-through, goes offline. It’s a nervous system issue, not a mindset issue.

Biologically, this is tied to the dorsal vagal branch of the vagus nerve, which controls our immobilization response. It’s common in folks with complex trauma, sensory overload, or long-term stress.

So here are some early warning signs I want you to start looking out for:

• You keep saying “I just need to rest,” but you’re not actually resting—you’re zoning out.

• You avoid basic tasks (such as emails, order updates, and product photos) even when you want to do them.

• You find yourself scrolling, surprise-napping, or doom-looping in your head instead of taking even one step.

Knowing how common this freeze mode can be is exactly why the Free Balance & Thrive Starter Kit includes a 5-minute Reiki meditation. When it all feels like too much, you can still reap the benefit of Reiki by simply hitting play and letting that cute little brain of yours zone out.

But freeze mode isn’t the only way dysregulation shows up. What about when it goes the opposite direction and revs at 200%?

You're Operating from Fight Mode (aka Hyperdrive Hustle)

This one’s for my go-go-go people who get stuck in hustle-then-crash cycles.

That’s called fight mode, where your nervous system gets activated and believes the best defense… is overachieving. It’s survival energy, not sustainable energy. Your body is trying to outrun stress, so you overwork, overplan, and maybe even over-promise just to feel safe.

This can feel productive at first, until you crash. HARD. And your plan goes out the window, again. For handmade biz owners, this might look like launching a shop update in a flurry... Then ghosting your customers for two weeks because you’re emotionally fried.

This state is linked to sympathetic nervous system activation, the classic “fight or flight” state. Your cortisol spikes, adrenaline flows, and your focus narrows. All great for surviving a bear attack… Not so great for launching your latest collection.

The early warning signs to watch for on this one are:

• You feel anxious until you’re working—and then overwork to stay numb.

• You skip meals, breaks, and even joy because “there’s no time.”

• The second you stop moving, the guilt or panic creeps in.

Since Fight mode comes with this existential dread when resting, I made sure my free Balance & Thrive Starter Kit includes a process for planning which tasks will have the biggest impact and ultimately get you out of that Fight mode.

But what if you’re not freezing or overworking? What if you’re playing nice… and abandoning your own goals in the process?

You're in Fawn Mode (aka Saying Yes to Everything BUT Your Plan)

How many times have you adjusted your plan to keep the peace, help someone else, or avoid disappointing someone?

That’ll be fawn mode, my friend. Fawn mode makes your nervous system believe that pleasing others is safer than honoring your own path. So instead of moving toward your goals, you overextend, over-commit, and over-accommodate. Instead of batching content like you planned, you take on a last-minute commission. Instead of resting, you agonize over responding to customer emails juuuust right.

This erodes your time, your boundaries, your self-trust, and worse? You start thinking you’re the problem when really, you’ve just been stuck in survival mode.

This is a survival strategy rooted in relational safety, especially for folks who grew up needing to keep the peace or anticipate others’ needs. The nervous system chooses connection over authenticity, often subconsciously.

The early warning signs here are:

• You can’t remember the last time you did something just for you.

• You rearrange your plans every time someone else needs something.

• You feel resentful or invisible, but keep saying “yes” anyway.

When you’ve spent most of your life in this Fawn mode, it can feel impossible to figure out what you actually want. In case you haven’t guessed it, I planned for this too! My Free Balance & Thrive Starter Kit kicks things off with an exercise designed to help you reconnect with your wants and needs by tuning in to your body.

So, which mode do you spend the most time in? Drop a comment below to find fellow handmade business owners in your same position.

Now that we’ve named these three modes, you might be wondering—how do I start shifting out of this?

Well, here’s your permission slip to ditch the pressure to be more disciplined.

Understanding your nervous system is the missing piece for so many handmade business owners who feel stuck or scattered. When you can spot the signs early (freeze, fight, or fawn), you stop blaming yourself and start meeting yourself with support.

In my next post, I’ll walk you through simple, nervous-system-friendly tools to regulate each of these states, including why Reiki can be a powerful, energetic reset when your system is overwhelmed. Because when your body feels safe, following through becomes second nature.